Don’t Buy For Me, Argentina!

I love the holiday season, but each year I get stressed out about gift giving and getting. I have a very small list of people to buy for, luckily, but no one needs any more “stuff,” so it is hard to come up with thoughtful, clutterless gifts each year (though this year, I am pretty sure I nailed it!!!).

I also do not need any more “stuff.” In fact, owning things stresses me out. I do not like clutter. I hate dusting. I do not like getting gifts for the sake of getting gifts. I have everything I materialistically want or need (with the exception of a new Audi S5), and generally the things I do find I want or need, I can buy for myself. In fact, I am on a quest to rid my house of all the useless crap we have kicking around. There is a certain sense of urgency with this venture lately – with baby arriving in April, we will be filling the house back up with more stuff. (At least this stuff will serve purposes!)

Each holiday season, I campaign for no gifts, usually to no avail. I appreciate that people are thinking of me, but I get the impression sometimes that they are thinking more about themselves. If I ask you not to get me anything, and then you get me something, aren’t you disrespecting my wishes? That doesn’t sound like thinking of me. People have said to me, “I am getting you (insert item here)!” When I tell them that I do not want/like/need (said item), they say, “well I am getting it for you anyway!” That just makes me feel terrible. They know I don’t want it, and now I am stuck with it.

I have been told that I should just grin and bear it, accept the gift graciously, which I do, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still bother me. I can’t separate the idea of the object from the thought of it sitting in a landfill for the next 1,000 years. My home is filled with junk that I feel obligated to keep because it was a gift. Things I will never, ever use yet can’t get rid of for fear of being asked about the item years later. More clutter, more stress. These gifts are burdens.

Yes, there are gifts I do like to receive, but it is considered rude to ask for specific items. I have very specific tastes, which makes it hard for people to buy for me. I have been called picky, which I think is kind of mean – I am not picky, my preferences just differ from yours. Everyone is different. Individual tastes are what make our differences great! Just because I would rather you said, “I thought of you while eating a banana and saved you my peel since I know you love to compost,” than, “here is some random crap I bought at the mall because I felt obligated to by society,” does not make me a bad person.

I know how awful it feels to show up somewhere empty handed. I wouldn’t go to a friend’s house for dinner without bringing a bottle of wine or something. I still buy gifts for people, because my feelings are exactly that – mine. (I would never give someone a banana peel because *I* love to compost. Also, that banana peel is already in my compost – you can’t have it.) I can respect that some people enjoy getting gifts. But I also feel awful when people hand me gifts. If you really insist on “thinking of me” in a way that involves spending money, I am more than happy to provide you with a list of charitable organizations whose work I respect and support.

So please, don’t buy me anything! (Unless, of course, it is that new Audi S5…) Thanks!!