I Hate Hate

Ah, election season! That joyous time of year when everyone spews hate at each other. Isn’t it grand?

I find all the mudslinging very upsetting, I can’t help it. And while I can avoid the negative commercials on TV, thanks to the wonderfulness of DVR, it is a little harder to avoid on Facebook.

Of course, this is all pretty one-sided. If you post something I agree with, well then yes, I like it! I’m not gonna lie, I am very left leaning on most issues. I am ok with that. It is who I am and who I have become. I am not embarrassed by my political leanings, and I think it is kinda strange when people are very secretive about who they vote for or whatnot. Are you embarrassed by your beliefs? In my mind, I liken politics to religion. I’m not embarrassed to tell people if they ask that I am not religious or that I was raised Catholic, so why should I be secretive about being a bleeding heart liberal? And feel free to stereotype me – earlier this week I listened to public radio in my Prius while driving to Whole Foods to buy tofu. Even I laughed at me.

But here’s the thing: my beliefs are exactly that: MINE. While I may hop on my soap box from time to time about spaying and neutering or other animal welfare issues, I try to keep my more controversial beliefs to myself. It is not my job to sway your opinion on who to vote for or what you should or shouldn’t eat or how to raise your kids or other sensitive issues. And that carries over into Facebook as well. My Facebook friends are supposed to be my friends. Why would I post stuff that would upset my friends? That would make me a pretty crappy friend, in my opinion.

I try to be a conscious Facebook poster. I try to be positive in my posts, I try to restrain myself from posting 50 million pictures of my baby 20 times a day (there is a time and a place for that kind of behavior, and that time and place is called Flickr), I try to refrain from *constantly* talking about my baby or my horse or my cats or about cars, I try to refrain from constantly bragging about how awesome you should think my life appears. (It has its ups and downs, but I am not gonna like – I think it’s pretty awesome!) I try to be considerate of my audience and not piss them off or annoy them or make them feel bad. I want to be a good friend, not a crappy one.

The point is, I am tired of people posting negative comments and pictures on Facebook, especially as they relate to my political views. When you post something negative about something I support, I tend to take it very personally. I truly believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and everyone has the right to express those opinions, but there are more productive ways these opinions and beliefs can be expressed that aren’t hurtful or mean. When you insult me, my reaction is to go on the defensive. Fight or flight. It can’t be controlled. But when you present your argument to me in a way that is educated, non-inflammatory, and non-hateful, I am more inclined to give it consideration, or at the very least be accepting of the fact that you have your opinions and that is ok even if they differ from mine. Isn’t that your goal? Or is your goal to make me feel bad? If so, it is working. :(

If you are looking to change someone’s views to be more in line with your own, positive dialog goes a loooooong way. Being hateful and mean makes it less likely for me to respect your views. You win more friend with honey, as they say. But it is so easy to be mean, it takes a lot more effort to be nice, sadly.

That said, I think I am going to try to follow the wise words of Gandhi: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him… we need not wait to see what others do,” or, as it is often truncated: be the change you want to see in the world.

I am vowing to go hate-free. Well, I am going to try it for one day, and see how long it lasts. I am the first to admit that I hate a lot of stuff, so this is definitely going to be a challenge for me. But every time I get worked up about something, I am going to make an effort to not hate. I am going to dismiss negative thoughts in my head, I am not going to let myself get worked up, I am going to let others have their opinions without them influencing my feelings. It will be hard, no doubt, but hopefully it can be a practice I can continue, and hopefully it will inspire others to be less hateful along the way!

Instead of telling you what to do, I am going to do what I want to do and hopefully lead by example, because I would love to see less hate.